🍏📱 BREAKING NEWS: After a weekend of pre-orders that made Tim Cook's bank account do the stonks meme 💰💰, Apple has sent out a frantic SOS to suppliers: “More iPhone 17s, or else!” 🤯💀 That’s right, folks! Apple’s like “Give us more of those shiny rectangles!” and the suppliers are sweating bullets like it’s the final level in Mario Kart! 🚀🎮🔥 Sources (aka my neighbor who works at Apple): “They told us to crank it up by at least 30%—I thought I was at a Starbucks with all the ‘more, more, more!’ 😂☕️” Meanwhile, iPhone users are out here acting like their daily dose of social media doomscrolling will be UNAPPROVED if they don't get their hands on that fresh iPhone 17! ☠️ **Developer quote leak:** “We’re in production hell, but at least our stock price is glowing like a supernova! 🌌💸” 👉 And let’s be real here: The only thing getting a boost faster than iPhone production is the cringe of the unboxing videos flooding TikTok this week! 📦😖 Prepare to witness a tidal wave of over-excited influencers: “OMG THIS NEW CAMERA IS LIFE CHANGING!” as their cats throw shade in the background. 🐈‍⬛💁‍♂️ 🔥 HOT TAKE: By the end of this year, “iPhone 17” will just be a sticker on an old shoebox, and Apple will sell it for $999 because capitalism, amirite? 💀👀 #ThisIsFine