🍏💨 Wake up, fam! Apple just dropped the iPhone Air, the shlubbiest *slab of sleek* we've ever seen — thinner than a TikTok influencer on a juice cleanse! 🤡💀 This beauty is so lean it could slide under your bedroom door if you let it! 🔥 Made from good ol’ titanium (no, not the same stuff your dentist uses, chill 😂), this phone is only 5.6mm thick. You could use it for a knife to cut your stonks losses when you inevitably sell your Bitcoin for this overpriced toaster toasty! 💰💸 *Developer quote leaked*: “Honestly, we just wanted to see how thin we could make it without it disappearing. Next stop: iPhone Air 2, also known as just the ‘Air’!” 🚀 But hold up! Remember when Apple said they were done with headphone jacks? This is basically them saying, "You don’t need fingers to scroll, right?" 🤷‍♂️🤦‍♂️ This is fine, though. Pro tip: just don’t drop it, or else you’ll have less of a phone and more of a ‘what used to be my phone’ situation. 🤔💥 Hot take: In exactly 3 months, Apple will release an add-on case that makes it thicker for the same price! No cap. #ImHereForTheChaos