🚨👀🍏 BREAKING: AIDS! I mean, APPLE has issued an Amber Alert for your iCloud! Yep, you heard right! France is getting hit by *yet another* spyware campaign… like, at this point, can we rename it “Spy-Apple”? 😂💀 ✨On September 3rd, 2025, CERT-FR pulled the fire alarm 🚨, letting our baguette-loving friends know they’re basically living in an episode of *The Matrix* where the red pill just turns into a spyware alert. 🌍💻 Like, c'mon Apple, is this the fourth season of “Apple vs. The World”? 🎬 The meme gods must be smiling down, cause if you’re not getting hacked, are you even using Apple products? 🤡💰 *Cope and seethe*, my dudes! Some devs were overheard saying, “Don’t worry, just enable two-factor authentication while we mine your data!” 🤖 Drake would be pointing at Apple like, “This is fine.” 🥴📉 Get ready for the future, where buying an iPhone means it’ll keep your secrets as well as your ex’s nudes. 🔥 🔥💥 **HOT TAKE:** By 2026, Apple will just start charging $9.99 monthly for “Top Secret Protection” that doesn’t actually protect you! Stonks, baby! 🚀💸 #TechChaos #AppleLies #SpywareSurvivor