🚨🎉 *BREAKING: Apple’s “Awe dropping” Event - More Like *Yawn* Dropping* 💀🔥 Strap in, fam! 🍏🚀 Apple is about to bless us with the iPhone 17 Air, which, no cap, is thinner than my patience for these annual upgrades. 😂💀 And rumors say they’re dropping THREE new Apple Watch models! 🕒🥳 Because you KNOW we need more overpriced wrist bling to get notifications from Tinder! Someone hit me with the "this is fine" meme, 'cause those prices are gonna be 🔥💰! Developer quote leaking out of Cupertino: “iPhone 17? More like iPhone 17% the value of an actual human kidney in resale!” 💀💔 *Absolutely based*! 🤖 And don’t even get me started on the design upgrades. “Major” design changes? 🚨 As if swapping out the lightning port for a USB-C connection is going to make my 2020 iPhone 12 look like it just came outta style magazine! Drake pointin’ meme, anyone? 👀➡️ So, let’s be real: if you're buying this new phone, you might as well be cashing in your piggy bank for stonks in *cringe* - welcome to the club of Apple’s biggest simps. 🍏🤑 Hot take: In 2030, Apple will unveil an iPhone that’s literally just a sticker you slap on your forehead, and it’ll cost $5,000. Degen status: activated! 🤡🔥💥