🍏🚨 BREAKING: Apple Just Dropped the *iPhone Air* - But Not the Fresh Air We Needed! 💨💰 Ladies and gentlefolk, gather ‘round, because Apple just unveiled the iPhone Air — a phone so thin, it makes my bank account look fat! 💸😩 At a staggering 5.6mm thick (YUP, THIN AF 🤯), it's practically a credit card with a screen! But wait, it starts at a jaw-dropping $999! 😂💀 I mean, at this point, why not just carve a phone outta diamond and sell it for a million? This titanium frame sounds cool until you realize it’s just a *very fancy way to say* “good luck, butterfingers!” 🤡🤦‍♂️ And they threw in a 6.5-inch display that boasts a 120Hz refresh rate — which is basically just their way of saying “your screen will change faster than your mood when you check your bank balance.” 🎢😤 *Developer leaks:* 👨‍💻 "What’s a phone if it can't double as a paperweight? #AppleLogic" 🤯 👩‍💻 "We call it iPhone Air because it literally costs an arm and a leg, no cap!" 🙈 And let me tell you, the always-on display means you can see your empty wallet 24/7! Stonks 🚀 or nah? 🤷‍♂️ Hot take: By 2025, Apple will release an iPhone with no buttons, touchscreen, or screen. It's just a hologram projected from your wrist 🤖💅. You heard it here first, fam!🔥💥