BREAKING: 🍏 Apple is back at it with the AirPods Pro 3, the headphones that now double as a *doctor* 🩺 because what we really wanted was to *hear* our own hearts beating while avoiding accountability! 💔✨ These bad boys boast the "WORLD’S BEST ANC"™ (Active Noise Cancellation, for the boomers out there) that promises to drown out your responsibilities. 🌊🙈 Apple’s literally fighting your life’s chaos with foam-infused ear tips that even the government would use for surveillance! 🔍💯 “Hey, did you hear the news?” says the imaginary dev over coffee. ☕️ “We made these so quiet you can even hear your budget crying.” 💸🤣 Preorder them today for a steal at $249 if you want to spend your money on something that doesn't actually fix your mental breakdowns! *Stonks!* 📈 Live translation? Oh, you mean it’ll finally tell you what your parents said when they found out you bought a MacBook instead of saving for a house? *Cringe!* 😬💀 But here's the REAL kicker: they come shipped on September 19th, just in time to ignore all the social obligations you’ve been dodging since 2020! 🚀🔥 Unhinged prediction: In 2024, Apple will introduce an AirPods Pro 4 with a built-in therapist, powered by GPT-88. No cap, you’ll be talking to your earbuds more than your friends! 🤖💔💥