🚨🎉 BREAKING: Apple just released the iPhone 17, and WE’RE all about to NOT be able to pay rent for the next month! 🏠💸💀 Say hello to the new smartphone that costs an arm and a leg! 🤡💰 For the low, low price of $799 (NO CAP! 👀), you can own a fancy brick that has a bigger screen—🎊 that’s a 6.3-inch OLED display, for ALL your meme scrolling needs! 👁️👁️ And get this, the “A19 chip” is basically the new “dude, trust me” of Apple marketing—what does that even mean? It sounds like a 5-year-old's name! 🤖💭 📱💔 But wait, they’ve finally added the ‘always-on’ feature! Now you can sleep, but also be reminded that you have 17 notifications from your ex while you’re at it! This is fine. 🔥💔 Remember last year's iPhone? Yeah, me neither—because each year they simply serve us the same sushi, but with a spicier label and a side of “you’ll want this.” And yo, I overheard some "developer" at a coffee shop say, “If they add a new color, we might just raise prices to 'Gold Edition’ for no reason." 🚀💀🤑 🚀 **Hot Take Alert** 🔥: In 2024, Apple will announce a new “iPhone 17 Pro+ Moon Edition” that can bake bread. Nailed it. Share this chaos! 🌌✨