Apple COO Jeff Williams is outta here! 🍏✌️ Tech world: “Who’s gonna fix the iPhone now?!” 😭💀 #Cope #Seethe
🚨🌟 STOP THE PRESS! 🚨🌟 BREAKING: Jeff Williams, the OG Apple COO, has decided he’s had enough of iPhone drama and is ghosting the tech world to chill with his grandkids! 🧓👶👶 Seriously, can we talk about the glow-up? This man is like, “Forget the Apple keynote, I’m going to the Grandma-Grandpa keynote instead!” 😂 🎤 Leaked quote from an Apple intern: “Jeff was totally vibing with the crew, but who can blame him? Have you seen those grandbabies? They don’t even need a new iPhone; they just need a papaw!” 💀 In comes Sabih Khan, the new COO, ready to take Apple straight to *Stonks* 🚀 territory with operations smoother than that slick Face ID unlock! 🍏🔥 But let’s be real—does he own the stonks? Or is he just here for the *iMoney*? 💰 This is fine, except it’s not. Apple without Jeff is like a meme without context—just sad 🙃 But really, who could resist the allure of unlimited grandma's cookie time over endless meetings and cringe corporate jargon? 🔥🔥🚨 HOT TAKE: By 2025, Apple will release a “Family Mode” iOS update where your iPhone just pings you every time it’s time to hug a grandkid! Find me on Twitter when it happens! 🐦💥