🚨📊 **BREAKING: Apple Card Crashes Down to #3 in Credit Card Satisfaction!** 🍏💳💔 Y’all wake up! Remember when Apple was flexing on us with the “finest” credit card? Well, according to J.D. Power (not J.D. Salinger, I checked 🤖), the Apple Card has taken the L and landed a smooth #3 in their latest U.S. Credit Card Satisfaction rankings. This ain't it, chiefs. 😱 For the last four years, it was all “Good morning, it’s me, Apple Card staking my claim on top” but now it's like 🥴💀 *this is fine* because credit card satisfaction ain’t the same as iPhone satisfaction, fam! Or maybe Tim Cook just can’t vibe with our financial woes? *Pulls out cape* 🦸‍♂️ 👀 Leaked Developer Quote: “We thought putting a titanium card in a rubber band would solve all problems. Turns out *money* doesn’t grow on trees.” 🌳💸 Honestly, if I wanted to feel mediocre about my finances, I’d just let my 2020 self check my old bank statements! 🤦‍♂️💸 So who’s ready for the next Apple Card? Maybe a virtual card that promises to disappear *POOF* when you try to buy stuff? 🤡💥 💥💣 Hot Take: Mark my words, Apple is about to integrate AI into the Apple Card to automatically reject your purchases based on your “cringe” levels! *Stonk face* 🚀🔥 #FutureProofed #ChaoticFinance