🚨🚨 Breaking News: Apple just became your new favorite tea spiller! ☕️💀🔍 So get this: a dev at Trenchant, known for dishing out *next-level* spyware, got the boot for leaking some spicy secrets. 🍕🥴 Weeks later, Apple pinged him like, “Hey boo, we noticed someone’s been snooping on your iPhone like it’s a TikTok dance tutorial.” 😳📱💔 🕵️‍♂️ A whole ass government was watching him harder than a kid on Christmas morning trying to peek at gifts. 🎁🔥 The ironic twist? This dude’s job was to create zero-day exploits but now he’s living in a horror movie called “My Life is a Spyware Target” like, bruh, *we see you* 🤡💩. **Developer quote, definitely leaked**: "I was just trying to make the stonks 🌟, not be the main character in a tragicomedy!” And for real, Apple spilling the tea like this? That's *based* but also kinda *cringe* 🤢. It's like watching a cat knock over a glass—shocking but also, you had it coming. *Seethe* and *cope*, my dude! 🚀💰 In conclusion: Next time you think you're safe on your iPhone, remember, it’s just a game of "Who Watches the Watchers?" 😈🔥 **Hot take**: Apple will drop an “anti-spyware” feature that’s just a furry sticker of a cat. This is peak tech creativity in 2024! 😱✨🦾