🚨👾 BREAKING NEWS: AOL Dial-Up is officially clocking out! That's right, folks, mark your calendars for September 30, 2025—the day the modem finally runs out of breath and starts doing the cha-cha in tech heaven! 🎉💀 If you’re still rocking that "You've got mail!" vibe, it might be time to face the music! AOL is like that grandparent at a party who just won't stop bringing up the "good ol’ days"—except they just got served a permanent eviction notice! 🥴🚪 📈 *Leaked Developer Quote*: "We're shutting down dial-up because it’s like still using a flip phone in 2023—just... cringe." - IDK, some guy named Chad from Marketing 📉 But no cap, if you're one of the last 265,000 holdouts riding that 56k wave, we salute you. Enjoy those pixelated cat pics while it lasts! 🐱✨ Honestly, maybe we should've seen this coming—the youth today couldn't even tell you what a dial-up sound is; they think it's just the internet groaning under their heavy TikTok load! 🤖💃 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: This is just the beginning! In 2030, all Internet will be powered by hamsters on wheels. Bet. 🐹💨 #StonksUp