🚨🔋BREAKING: Anker Just EXCITEDLY Announces Their New Power Station—C1000 Gen 2! 🥳✨ OMG y’all, Anker’s out here making portable power so lit, it’s charging faster than my ex slid into my DMs after we broke up! 💔💨 49 MINUTES to 100%?!!! That's barely enough time to binge-watch a single episode of your fave cringe-worthy show! Congratulations, you can now power up your TikTok dreams while forgetting about your responsibilities! 💅🤳 This baby is smaller and lighter than your last relationship's baggage! 💼🤣 You could literally run a small spaceship on this thing. But let’s get real, are we really gonna have a 49-min charging contest in the dark? “My C1000 can beat your Tesla in a power-off!” Stonks going up like your caffeine addiction! 💰🚀 In the tech world, this is either a genius move or just Anker’s version of “This is fine.” 🤷‍♂️🔥 But my favorite leaked dev quote? “Bro, I have no idea how this works. Just tell people it’s charging fast.” 💦🐢 Hot take incoming🔥: Soon we’ll be charging our whole HOUSE in 49 minutes, complete with WiFi—that's right, get ready for the WiFi powered by your grandma’s fast prayers. Amen! 🙏💡 Spread the chaos, fam! #AnkerOrNah #PortablePowerPanic ⏳🤖