🚨🔮 BREAKING: Ancient Egyptians were not just busy building pyramids; they were also getting HIGH AF! 🤯💨💀 That's right, fam! Scientists found ancient opiates in an alabaster vase, and it looks like those sand-worshipping pyramid builders were living their best "work hard, nap hard" life! 💤💪 Imagine sitting on the Nile, sipping on your pyramid smoothie while your pharaoh vibes are hitting *different*. 💰👑 “Daily opium? 🤔 That’s not a habit, that’s a lifestyle choice!” – Said literally no one ever, fr fr. But this is Egypt, where EVERYONE was on that "This is fine" meme level of chill! 🔥🌴 Drake would totally be pointing at that vase like, “This is the vibe!” 🎤👀 Meanwhile, archaeologists are out here acting like the world just discovered stonks 💹 by combining pharmacology with ancient history. *Genius level unlocked* 🌌🧠 So what’s next? TikTok dances in front of the Sphinx while sipping opiate smoothies? You KNOW that’s gonna be a thing! 🔥😵‍💫 In conclusion, if the Egyptians could vibe with opiates while building monuments, what's our excuse for just binging Netflix and crying? 🤷‍♂️💔 My unhinged prediction? Ancient Egypt will have a resurgence as the new wellness trend, and “Nile Yoga Retreats” will be the next big thing! 🌊🧘‍♂️💥 Time to get those lotus poses in check! #PharaohFresh #VaseVibes #EgyptianChill