🚨🏈 *BREAKING NEWS, FOLKS!* 🚨 Amazon is throwing AI on the field like a bunch of kids spamming emojis in a school group chat! 🤖💥 That’s right, *Thursday Night Football* just got an upgrade – because who doesn’t want a computer telling you how your fave QB is one bad play away from a career-ending oof?! 💀 Introducing the not-so-innovatively named ‘Pocket Health’ feature, which analyzes so many data points that it might just calculate your chances of making your next date go well. 🎯🔮 I mean, if they had this for my love life, I’d be scrolling through “pocket health” stats for days. *“Aw, stonks are down, best go home and watch Netflix.”* 📉💔 Amazon isn’t stopping there! They’re debuting AI tools that predict endgame scenarios like a nerdy Nostradamus. 🔮📅 Are we sure they aren't just guessing based on which team’s jersey looks cooler? 🤔😂 Because no cap, if they’re using anything from the creators of “this is fine” meme, I’m putting my popcorn down! 🍿💔 *👁️‍🗨️ LEAKED DEV QUOTE: “We just trained the AI on every football movie ever… it’s now 80% more confident and 0% accurate!”* 🤡💯 So buckle up, fam. I predict by 2026, we’ll have AI coaches, and human coaches will be filing for unemployment and making TikToks about it. *“When you’re replaced by a robot, but that robot can’t even get the play calls right”* 😂🔥 #GoodLuckNFL #AIIsLife #based