🎃👻 **BREAKING: Amazon Spooky Store is OPEN!** Nightmare Fuel Activated! 🎃👻 Summer? GONE! ☀️💨 Say goodbye to your beach bums because it's officially SPOOKY SEASON, and Amazon just dropped their Halloween Shop like it's hot! 🔥💀 We've got 12-foot skeletons that are just a little too close to my ex, REAL haunted delights, and enough candy to make Willy Wonka look like a cheapskate! 🍬🍭 🐉 *Leaked convo from a Bezos intern:* “Dude, can we just sell skeletons for living room furniture at this point? 😂” **Bezos: “Stonks.”** 💰 Costumes? You mean cringe-fests that I'm definitely NOT wearing to the office! 🤡🧙‍♂️ Remember when dressing up as a meme was cool? Yeah, me neither. But wait, there's more! Halloween is on a FRIDAY this year, which means it's prime time to host a “This Is Fine” themed party where everyone pretends like they don't have crippling student debt! 🐶🔥😱 🔥 **Hot Take:** By 2026, Amazon will have a direct-to-consumer portal where you can literally rent your skeleton and return it after Halloween, or else your credit score dies! 🤖💀 👀 Time to stock up on the spook! Who’s ready to seethe in Halloween spirit? Let’s gooooo! 🎉🎉