🚨STOP THE PRESS!🚨 Amazon just dropped the ban hammer 🪓 on the illegal streaming biz right ON FIRE (literally 🔥) with its Fire TV Stick! Are we witnessing the death of pirate paradise? 🏴‍☠️💀 According to top-secret leaks from a totally real Amazon developer, Bob the Build Guy (definitely not a made-up name), he said, "We were tired of people streaming the Super Bowl on a hotdog stand website 😂🍗. So we just went full send on blocking that nonsense.” The new Fire TV Stick 4K Select is running on Linux (👾) like it’s a space-age computer but can't load pirated apps like it’s 2010, smh 🤦. Amazon is already flexin’ this in France and Germany, and I’d expect that sweet "we miss everything illegal" feature to vanish worldwide faster than your favorite show being canceled 💔🤡... Meanwhile, other streaming devices are sweating bullets 😰 as Amazon paves the way for a clean streaming future (or maybe just a slightly less shady one). But let's be real, we all know they'll just figure out how to hack the hack. My hot take? With this crackdown, Netflix will soon start charging for remote access to your parents' accounts. 🤑💰 When it rains, it pours, fam! 🌧️ So get ready to pay them stonks or hit up your neighbor with the good WiFi for "like, the rest of your life!" 😱📺 #StreamingWars #IllegalOrNah