🚨📢✨BREAKING NEWS!!! Amazon’s Fall 2025 Hardware Event: Live from NYC! 🗽💥 And by "live," I mean my couch because I have social anxiety and the only thing I’m doing with my life is letting Jeff Bezos whisper sweet nothings into my ear through Alexa 💔🤖 So here’s the deal: *new Kindles, Echos, AND possibly a TV*??! Like, fr fr, are we about to watch Bezos ascend to literal godhood while we binge-watch “The Office” for the 27th time?? 📺👀💰 - “Listen, we NEED to keep up with the stonks 📈,” some poor Amazon intern was definitely pressed into saying while trying to hide the existential dread. 😂💀 - “Alexa, why do I do this to myself?” we all ask while cringing at $400 smart fridge prototypes that can judge your snacks 🍕🤬. But wait, there’s more! Alexa Plus is already rolling out like my ex trying to lock me down again, and we’re still gagging over what “great hardware” really means. Will it be a smart fridge that judges my pizza choices? A Kindle that reads my sad thoughts? 🤡 💥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2026, Amazon will release a “Kindle-Echo-Tv” hybrid that literally gives birth to a new sentient AI that consumes all my wallet $$ and starts judging me over my life choices. This will either change the world or make it become a meme hellscape—probably both. Welcome to the future, fam! 🚀🤪