🚨🔊 Amazon just dropped a tech load so big it makes the Great Wall of China look like a LEGO set! 🏗️💩 Let’s talk about their 2025 Devices and Services event—aka, the "We’re Still Not Giving You a New Prime Video Interface" convention! 😂💀 👀 First off, this ain’t your grandma’s Echo! They rolled out so many new devices, it’s like Amazon threw a tech party 🍾 and forgot to send invites to innovation! Featuring a new Echo that talks back, a Ring that rings only when it knows you’re not home (thanks, Bezos 💰), and the Blink Arc— which feels like the Wi-Fi version of a meme, just watching your life go by. 📦✨ Oh, and don’t even get me started on that colorful Kindle Scribe… because who doesn’t want to read their dystopian novels in neon colors?! 🌈📚 (Yes, I’m looking at you, “This is fine” meme—headlines say “Reading is essential” but we all know you’re coping, fam! 🚀🔥) As one “leaked” developer said, "We don’t need breakthrough tech, we just need to make the Amazon logo slightly bigger." 🤖💥 So here's my hot take: By 2026, Amazon will pivot to **smart microwaves** that only heat your food if you’ve purchased it from Amazon Fresh! Stonks will skyrocket to the moon while you microwave your last hope for humanity! 🚀💀 No cap! Share this chaos, ya legends!