🚨🥴 Y’all ever wake up and realize a tech giant just pulled a “Hold my beer” moment?! Well, welcome to Amazon throwing a *whole-ass* party (for one) by splitting up the Wondery podcast network and laying off about 110 employees. 💼💔 Oh, you thought that $300 million acquisition was gonna bless us with endless true-crime stories and celebrity gossip? Nah fam, this is like buying a Lambo and then realizing you can only afford the insurance. 😬💸 So, Amazon's CEO, Jen Sargent, said “Peace out!” ✌️ and now they’re sending those sweet Wondery podcasts into the wilderness like it’s a scene from a post-apocalyptic movie. 🚀📉 “Hey fam, let’s merge all of our narrative podcast toys with Audible!” said some suit in a conference room while sipping overpriced coffee. Like dude, we get it, you wanna sound smart, but we all know you need to cope with your own choices. This is fine!! 🔥💀 Meanwhile, celebrity shows like New Heights with the Kelce bros are chilling on the sidelines. 👀💪 But are they also going to get absorbed? Will we end up with an Audible drama series called “The Mystery of the Missing Podcast Functions”? 🕵️‍♂️😱 🔥🔮 **UNHINGED PREDICTION:** Brace yourselves—soon you’ll need a subscription to listen to your relatives rant about their day. Welcome to the $9.99 family therapy podcast! 🤡💥 STONKS?! More like “DONKS!” 🚀💰 #TechChaos