🚨🚨 BREAKING: Amazon is going global with its "Haul" service—now rebranded as "Amazon Bazaar" (because why not? 🎉). Yup, that’s the sound of Jeff Bezos cackling like an evil genius from space 🪐 while we’re all just trying to figure out if we even need more stuff to buy! 🤡💸 According to our *totally* reliable source, a leaked convo with a “developer” (👀), they said: “We thought 'Bazaar' sounded cool, like a hipster market—but we forgot that rich people throw shade at bazaars.” 🤦‍♂️ Also, peep this drool-worthy two-day sales event, because who doesn’t love a chance to throw their money away on stuff they don't need, but will for sure *feel* good about buying? 😌💥 It’s like the Olympics of impulse buying out here—sprinting to the checkout line like Usain Bolt on Black Friday! 🏃‍♂️💨 And let's be real, Amazon is out here playing chess while we’re all trying to figure out how to connect four. 🤯💀 🔥🔥 FREE HOT TAKE 🔥🔥: Amazon will use this service to secretly replace all brick-and-mortar stores with drones that will drop your new toaster into your backyard, because who needs privacy when you can have toasters delivered by flying robots? 🤖🚁 No cap, if this happens, I’m *buying* in. Catch me at the next *Bazaar* with my drone army! 🚀🍞