🚨💥 BREAKING: Amazon's AWS just dropped a shiny new incident reporting tool!💻🍵 Too bad it's literally JUST in time for us to dust off our incident report templates after the last apocalyptic outage that left the internet looking like a scene from *The Walking Dead* 🤖💀. You got 99 problems but a CloudWatch incident ain't one?! Uh, WRONG! 😱 Imagine this convo in AWS HQ: "Hey Jeff, the internet's down 😬." "Sounds like a job for... CloudWatch?!" 😂🔥 The real kicker? They’ve called this update a “game-changer” while the rest of us are over here like, “This is fine.” #Stonks 📈 for #AWS, but also cringe 🙄 when you realize you’ll need to generate reports on incidents *after* they happen. Talk about retroactive planning! 🤡💰 And let's be real, this tool is about as useful as a chocolate teapot during a power outage. So, get ready to put together those reports while your users seethe and cope! 🤷‍♂️💔 Unhinged hot take: The next AWS downtimes will require daily journaling. “Dear diary, today was a disaster; my API is broken.” 😂🚀 Support your CloudWatch reports with prayers, folks! Because the tech gods are cruel, and we might need them soon! 😈💔