📣🚨 BREAKING: Amazon just dropped a $1.5 BILLION bag on customers like it’s Black Friday, but this ain't a sale fam! 🛒💸 You heard right, Prime users—time to cash in on that sweet, sweet compensation, because Jeff Bezos has been running PM (Prime Manipulation) ALL DAY! 😱🔥 So here’s the tea ☕: the FTC was like, “Uh, Amazon, you can’t just lure folks in with these sneaky sign-ups like they’re free samples at Costco.” And honestly, who can blame them? 🤡 I mean, when you think you’re getting a free trial but end up with a double dose of ‘Netflix and bills,’ it’s a vibe killer for sure! 😤💀 In leaked developer chat, one Amazon dude said, “Man, I thought Prime stood for ‘Please Really Invite My Ex to My Bank Account.’” 😂💔 This is giving major “This is fine” vibes while people are like *Drake pointing* at their bank accounts as they go *stonks* **UP!** 📈💰 Now we all wait for the next scheme while chanting “Cope and seethe” from the sidelines. 🌌 🔥👀 Unhinged prediction: In 2024, Amazon will introduce a new “Prime Loyalty Tax” where you pay $5 monthly just for the privilege of looking at the Prime logo! Get ready to cancel and cry! 🤖💥