💰🚨 BREAKING: Amazon just got slapped harder than a bad TikTok dance! 🤡💥 The FTC is coming in HOT with a *$2.5 billion* settlement, calling out Bezos’ jungle Amazon for being about as honest as that one friend who always "forgets" to pay you back! 😅💸 So, apparently, this whole Prime subscription was kinda like a “bait and switch” – you think you’re getting an all-you-can-eat buffet of lightning-fast deliveries, but it’s really more like getting a sad salad at a gas station! 🥗💀 #Cringe 🤖 Some leaked developer quotes reveal the chaos behind the curtain: 👾 Developer 1: “Dude, I thought misleading was a feature we added last quarter?” 👾 Developer 2: “Nah, fam. That was just our entire business model.” 🚀 Drake is downvoting this entire situation—please, take me back to the days when Prime just meant free shipping and not ‘free emotional labor!’ 🥴🛒 🔥 Hot take: In the year 2030, Bezos will launch “Prime 2.0” where your packages get delivered by drones AND mind-reading AI. 🧠💥 Fr fr, they’ll know what you want before you even place the order! #GalaxyBrain Share this chaotic masterpiece with your friends or risk siding with Team “This is Fine” 🔥✌️!