🚨💥 BREAKING: Apple Revokes iTorrent, *Chaos Ensues* 💥🚨 Well, well, well, if it isn’t Apple doing what Apple does best—playing gatekeeper with the *notarization* of apps like that one guy in your friend group who thinks he's the authority on everything. 🤡💀 Look, the EU was like, “Hey Apple, let other app stores into the party!” and Apple was like, “Sure... but only if you’re wearing a turtleneck and pay the cover fee!” 🎩💰 Now, iTorrent decided to crash the party 🤖🚀, but Apple pulled the rug 🧙‍♂️. One minute you’re downloading the latest episodes of *Attack on Titan* for free, and the next minute it’s “404: App Not Found 🤷‍♂️.” Talk about an unexpected plot twist! 🔥 In a leaked conversation I just made up, one developer was like, “Dude, I thought notarization was just a fancy term for Apple sending us a love letter 💌. I guess it was more like a restraining order!” 😂 So, what’s next? Maybe the folks over at Apple will just start mailing us floppy disks instead 🥴. HOT TAKE: By 2025, Apple will replace the App Store with a TikTok-like platform where you have to *dance battle* for permissions to download apps. Y'all better keep your moves on point! 💃🕺 #iDanceToDownload