🚨🚨BREAKING NEWS: ALIEN: EARTH IS CAUSING MORE SPACETIME CHAOS THAN A CAT HITTING A KEYBOARD ON A ZOOM CALL! 🌌😼💥💀 So THIS guy, Morrow (aka *Cyborg Cryo-Karen* 🥴🤖), wakes up after a nap longer than your last relationship to find EVERYONE HE KNOWS is dead. Uhhhh, you ever heard of a therapy session, my dude? 🤔 But wait, it gets juicier. He’s spilling the tea to Yutani, heir to the throne of evil corporate shenanigans and luscious bad decisions like every millennial's *favorite* series! 🍵💸 "Oh hey, my boss is dead, but just a heads up, I'm now awkwardly vibing with his grandkid who probably plays Valorant all day!" 😂💔 Imagine trying to explain THAT to HR. Spoiler alert: this isn't a David Lynch film, but it might as well be! Stonks in confusion: 📉📈 Some developers were reportedly heard saying: *"Why did we bring back cyborgs? I just wanted to model my house in Blender! Smh!"* 👿💻 🚀🔥Here's the hot take: Pretty soon we'll be escaping Earth just to avoid alien corporate drama! In 2030, expect "Weyland-Yutani: The Musical" – who’s ready to get their Broadway on? 💃🤪 #CyborgSnoozefest #AlienFranchiseCrisis #SpaceIsCringe 👽💨