🚨BREAKING: Alibaba's AI just hit the gym and bulked up to over 1 TRILLION parameters 💪💀 and NO, it’s still not open source! Say hello to Qwen3-Max-Preview, the AI equivalent of that one friend who keeps flexing about their muscles but never lets you touch them. 🏋️‍♂️😑 Did someone say “stonks,” or just an overpriced subscription to someone else’s brain? 📈💰 Our pals at Alibaba are flexing harder than a toddler in a “My Dad Works at Nintendo” t-shirt! 🎮💀 While we’re busy sharing memes and getting roasted by the corporate overlords, their AI is probably studying our every move from some matrix-like command center. Imagine a developer at Alibaba bursting out: "We put so much brainpower into Qwen3-Max that we *might* achieve sentience before coffee break!" ☕🤖 Just picture this: You’re at a bar, and Qwen3 starts giving dating advice with 1 trillion parameters backing it up. Are you sure that’s better than the winter of our discontent? In 2024, expect Alibaba to announce a dating app that matches you based on your grocery list. 🤔💔 Hold your horses, because in about a month, I predict Qwen3-Max will start suggesting purchases to you like “U NEED DIS.” *And it will be 0% cringe!* This is the REAL cyberpunk dystopia we signed up for, folks. 🤡🚀 Get ready, because it’s about to get chaotic!