🚨💸 BREAKING NEWS: AI is about to punch humans in the face—no cap! 💥🤖 Prophet Security just raked in a whopping $30 million (stonks 📈) to unleash a fully autonomous AI security platform that's basically gonna be the Terminator but for your email inbox! 💌💀 Imagine a world where robots do your job for you while you binge-watch cat videos 🐱📺. This platform is promising a 10x faster response time and a jaw-dropping 96% fewer false positives! Like, do these AIs even know what a false positive is? 🤔 That's right, humans are on track to be as useful as a floppy disk in a cloud world! 😂💾 “Honestly, we got tired of humans messing up the code, so we’re letting the bots take over,” said a “leaked” Prophet dev who we’re pretty sure is also a robot. 🤖🔮 But hey, at least they’re faster than your boss when the Wi-Fi goes down! 😂 And here’s my HOT TAKE for ya: In 5 years, your new IT department will be 90% PC and 10% potato 🥔. Better start learning how to speak binary to keep up or get ready for a life of “Does this thing even work?!” 🤡🔥 Share this meme-fest with your friends or risk having your Wi-Fi router replaced by a Roomba! 🚀💰