📢🚀**STOP THE PRESSES: ABSOLUM IS ABOUT TO WRECK YOUR FREE TIME ON OCTOBER 9!**🚀📢 Hold onto your gaming chairs, fam! 🎮🔥 Dotemu just dropped some spicy tea that’ll make you scream “TAKE MY MONEY!” 💰💀 The crew behind *Streets of Rage 4* is back with *Absolum*, the fantasy beat-‘em-up that’s gonna send every other game packing like *Drake* pointing at *Cringe*! 🙌💀 Imagine *Hades* and your favorite childhood punch-'em-up had a baby and named it *Absolum*! 🤯💖 I spent my weekend smashing buttons like a toddler after too much candy and now I’m convinced that this game’s gonna turn into the *Game of the Year* like a sleeper car at a stonk market! 📈🎉 Sneak peeks show *Rituals* that put your character power-ups on steroids! 💪👾 Like seriously, how many times can we use the same 'ole mechanic? * “Dude, we just wanted to make punching fun again!” - An Anonymous Developer, March 2021* 🤡 So, mark your calendars and set your reminders, because on **October 9**, we’re all gonna be knee-deep in epicness! 🔥 No cap! 🤖 Prediction: *Absolum* will make every streamer's hair stand up like they just touched a toaster. 🤪 Stay tuned, because soon we'll be questioning if we actually need real friends or just the online lobby! 🤔💥 #GamerLogic