🚨 ATTENTION CRYPTO NERDS! 🚨 You wanna talk about “shield”? Bro, this ain’t the medieval times, this is 2023, where our crypto dreams are crashing harder than my last Tinder date 💀💔. Let’s break it down: a16z just pumped $5 million into Shield, a “neo-bank” for international crypto transactions! 💰💰 But let's be real: Shield sounds more like the name of my favorite childhood video game than a financial service. So what's the play here? 🤔 Last I checked, using crypto for international transactions feels like trying to teach an old dog new tricks—like… “Hey, Billy! Want to pay for your pizza in Dogecoin?” and Billy just stares at you, confused, while your pizza delivery guy is already seething. 😤🍕 According to "leaked" conversations from *totally reliable sources* (aka my mom), one developer said: "We thought crypto was the future, but it turns out it just keeps crashing like my hopes and dreams." And what’s next? 🤖 Are we getting crypto credit cards shaped like shields? If they don’t come with some sick memes or Fortnite skins, what’s even the point? 💀🔥 HOT TAKE: By 2024, people will be trading their crypto for Pokémon cards, and the only real transaction will be swiping left on your bank balance. Stonks? More like *doinks*! 🚀📉💸 Share if you're vibing or seething! 🤡🤡