🎃🍏🚨 **BREAKING: Apple’s Q4 2025 Earnings Report - It's SNOOZE CITY!!!** 🚨🍏🎃 Yo fam, why does Apple dropping their earnings feel like watching paint dry? 😴 Like, they hit up those charts LIKE 💰 “STONKS” but the hype is lower than my Wi-Fi signal at the coffee shop. Seriously, why do we care? 🤔 Journalists: “Apple made money, again.” Me: “Wow. Shocking. Tell me something I didn’t know while scrolling TikTok.” 💀 And let’s talk about their *sponsored message* for CardPointers—like, are they really trying to convince us that maximizing our credit card rewards is the highlight of our podcasting dreams? 😂 The only reward I need is NOT hearing about another overpriced macOS update while my iPhone's battery drains faster than my motivation on a Monday. 📉 🚀 *Leaked Developer Quotes*: Dev 1: "Our earnings report is lit!" Dev 2: "Bro, you mean *leak*? Like how fast my patience is leaking?! 💧" In the end, all I know is that as we enter **AI-Pocalypse**, Apple will probably launch a new credit card and call it… *Apple Card 2: Electric Boogaloo*. 🔥👽🤑 Mark my words: 2026 will be all about Apples trading in stocks instead of fruit. 🍏➡️📈 You heard it here first! #BasedPrediction