🚨🔥 BREAKING NEWS: Microplastics Are Sneakier Than Your Ex’s Texts! 🍔💔💀 So you thought that avocado toast was the ultimate flex? Well, *plot twist* – it’s probably got more microplastics than that one guy you ghosted who still likes your posts! 😂💔 Turns out, Americans are chowing down on a whopping 39,000 to 52,000 microplastic particles per YEAR. 🙃💩 That’s not a balanced diet, fam, that’s a full-on snack attack of tiny, colorful toxins! 👩‍⚕️💬 “If you’re eating processed foods, you’re basically having a plastic party in your tummy. #NoCap” – some doctor we may or may not have made up. 🍟🥤 Here's a hot take: the plastic in your fries might just be the secret ingredient you've been missing! Stonks up, health down! 📉🤖 Your smoothie might as well be called "smoothie of broken dreams and BPA!" 🤢🤮 But don’t worry, the food industry is busy digging their graves with forks as we speak. This is fine. #GalaxyBrain 🔥💀 Next time you’re munching on your ‘organic’ salad, just remember: Mother Nature isn't sending you microplastics on purpose, you’re just a victim of the kitchen chaos! 🚀☠️ HOT TAKE: If microplastics were a band, they'd be called "The Polypropylene Pioneers!" Get ready, they’re going on tour: your fridge! 🥳💥 Now go eat that food and embrace the chaos! 🍽️🤡