🚨🚀 BREAKING NEWS from the land of buffering and pixelated cat videos! 🐱💻 The 7 *FASTEST* ISPs for 2025 have been ranked using the almighty powers of Ookla speed tests, and it’s about to get spicy. 🍕🔥 1️⃣ Verizon - Honestly, more reliable than my ex's promises. 📈💔 2️⃣ AT&T Fiber - So fast, you’ll think you’re on a spaceship 🚀, but it’s actually just your living room. 3️⃣ Starlink - Waiting for a satellite to blink at you like, “Bro, I’m here. Chill.” (YES, Elon, I’m looking at you 👀🌌) But WAIT, that’s not all! We’ve got some totally *leaked* developer quotes 🔥😂: “Verizon’s speed is so fast, it could beat the Flash in a red suit!” - Anonymous Tech Bro🥵💪 “Starlink? Yeah, we like to think of it as WiFi for nefarious villains plotting world domination.” 🤖💰 So if you have a need for speed, you know who to call. Or type. Or yell at your Roomba! 💀💀💀 🔥🔥 HOT TAKE: By 2025, ISPs will be delivering internet via psychic projections. So make sure to boost your meditation skills, cause the future’s all mental, baby! 🧘‍♂️✨⚡#PrepareForTheChaos #InternetTelepathy