📉🍏💔 Breaking News: *Tim Cook Is Gonna Cook Out?* 🍏📉💔 Rumor has it that Tim Cook is *finally* going to hang up his hoodie and let someone else take a stab at running the Fruit Company 🍏🚀. Who’s gonna orbit that coveted CEO throne? Let’s dive into the chaotic sea of Apple execs like we’re diving into a dumpster fire of broken dreams and overpriced dongles! 🔥💸 1. **Eddy Cue** - The “iTunes Dad” who still can’t figure out why the kids won’t stop using Spotify. 😂 No cap, he’s got that vibe of “I used to be cool in 2005.” 2. **Deirdre O'Brien** - The *goddess of retail,* but can she retail those *real* innovations? “I promise, I’ve got fresh ideas!” 🙄 O'Brien gonna be serving you Apple’s new hot sauce, featuring flavors like “iCan’tBelieveIt’sNotInnovative” and “Crisis Management.” 3. **Greg Joswiak** - The marketing wizard 🧙‍♂️✨ ready to turn the next iPhone into a cat toy. “We just added a new camera lens!” “Wow, how original, Greg.” 🙃 4. **Jeff Williams** - This man’s got *more health-related updates than the CDC.* "We added a health feature that tracks your heart rate while you cry over your student loans." *Stonks going down fast!* 5. **John Giannandrea** - The AI guy! “AI is not sentient... yet.” 🤖 *Wink, wink!* Just imagine Siri suddenly having existential dread about its role as a digital butler. 🔮 So when Tim finally hits the road, who’s gonna be left holding the Apple? 🤷‍♂️ Place your bets now,