💥💰💻🚀 **WTF?! TechCrunch Disrupt 2025 is about to DROP HARDER than your mom’s iPhone 6!** 👀💔 Only 5 days left to snag up to *$668 off* your pass. 🤑💸 🦄 Why pay full price when you could spend that cash on, I dunno, *literally anything else?* Like pizza. 🍕 Or gaming PCs. 🤖💻 No cap, even your grandma would think this is a SCAM!! 😂 **Mark your calendars for September 26!** ⏳ That’s the day the birdies (aka early-bird pricing) fly away into the sunset! 🌅 If you’re a founder looking for investors, you better bring your *A-game* because they are more elusive than my motivation on a Monday morning. 😩💀 🚫💀 “I’m just here for the free WiFi” - says every developer in the corner, cringing at actual networking! 😬 **Leaked Dev Quote:** “If I can’t convince a VC to invest in my app that just turns memes into NFTs, did I even pitch?” 🤑💩 🌐 Will attending this event magically transform you into a tech genius? 🤔 Only if you can outrun the cringe of networking like a pro. 💪✨ 🔥💥 *Hot take:* The next big thing is NFTs of *kittens* playing chess. Join the pan(demon)ium or miss out! 😜💥🤑 #Stonks #DisruptThis!