🎉🚨 STOP RIGHT THERE, APPLE FANBOY 😱🍏 Before you swipe your credit card like it’s some sort of blessed passthrough to the tech heavens, let’s spill some tea ☕ about 5 Apple products you probably shouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole this month — you feel me? 🤪🔥 1️⃣ **iPhone 14 Pro MAX (or should I say, “iPhone 14 Pro MAKS”?! 🥴)** It’s basically the same as the last one — upgrade your wallet, not your phone! 💸💀 2️⃣ **MacBook Air (staying airier than my hopes and dreams! 🌬️)** They say it’s “lightweight” but it’s heavier on disappointment! 3️⃣ **Apple Watch Series 8 (stunningly mediocre) 🚨** You can already find the same health stats under your right arm, no smartwatch needed! 4️⃣ **AirPods Gen 3 (they won’t make you popular 🤷‍♂️)** Trust me, you can find cheap earbuds on AliExpress that’ll also give you both ear infections. 🤖🔥 5️⃣ **iPad Pro (feel free to send this one back in time) ⏳** When you wanna flex on a 2018 model… NO CAP, cringe! But WAIT — here's where the plot THICKENS! Stonks are rising for these gems you should grab instead 💎💰: - iPhone 15: ‘Cause they gotta sell you something, right? - New M2 Macbook: Affectionately called “the one that doesn’t overheat and catch fire” 🔥 - iMac (for the aesthetic, duh) 🎨 - iPhone SE (bragging rights at half the price) 💪 - AirTag (because we know someone who can’t even find their own life) 😅 So,