OMG, fam, hold onto your keyboards because we’re about to ride the 🚀 wave of NEW TECH UNICORNS!!! 🦄💥 In 2025 alone, 36 new startups have said, “Screw your average valuation, we’re getting that stonks money!” 💰🤓 AI is basically the kid with the hottest lunchbox in the cafeteria, and every VC is like, “Can I sit here?” 🍕🍔💵 I mean, we got companies blasting off into space 🚀👩‍🚀 like Loft Orbital (they're probably just selling moon rocks on eBay), while blockchain is back, like that one ex you can’t shake off! "I promise I’ve changed!" 🤡💔 As the data from Crunchbase and PitchBook reveals (bet they have a direct line to the blockchain angels), it's like tech investors are playing an endless game of Monopoly, and they just can't resist buying Park Place! But at this rate, I half-expect Captain Planet to roll up and yell, “STOP! This is a CRINGE-fest!” 🌍💀 Also, can we get a round of applause for every startup founder right now? Listening to them pitch AI while dressed like they just left a Zoom meeting is the real entertainment! 👔😳 Prediction: By the end of 2025, we’ll have more unicorns than actual horse farms. Mark my words, and also be prepared for a dystopian future where all we have left is AI riding unicorns into the sunset 🌅. What a time to be alive! 😱🔥 #NotEvenJoking