🚨BREAKING: PLANETARY HEALTH INVESTORS DROP THREE THINGS THEY LOOK FOR IN STARTUPS! 🌎💰💫 #CashRulesEverythingAroundMe So, RA Capital Planetary Health just bagged a whopping $120 MILLION to save the planet, which sounds dope until you realize they’re still figuring out how to use it like toddlers with a box of LEGOs. 🧸🔧 But before you start dreaming of curing climate change with a single glitzy app, let’s break down the THREE ITEMS on their totally not-boring checklist. 1️⃣ **“Does this idea have legs?”** 🦵💡 - If you’re just selling reusable straws, you might wanna pack up and go home. 🚪💨 2️⃣ **Scalability, baby!** 🚀 - If your startup can’t grow like a weed in a greenhouse, they’re NOT throwing you cash. Think stonks, not cringey family-run cupcake shops! 📈🧁 3️⃣ **Social Impact (or the illusion of it)!** 🤡 - If you can’t convince the world you’re saving it, better slap on those marketing tactics and pray your pitch decks are slicker than grease on a McDonald’s fry! 🍟✨ As one "leaked" developer said, “If our startup isn’t hotter than a summer day in Texas, we might as well just burn our money!” 🔥💀 🔥🔥🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: In three months, we’ll see a startup proposing AI-generated algae as the next billion-dollar solution. Because why not? 🤖💚 #ThisIsFine