💥🎤 Hold onto your keyboards, fam! Straight outta Eugene, Oregon, we’ve got a 22-year-old kingpin who’s running the most *lit* DDoS-for-hire operation since... well, ever! Meet Ethan Foltz, aka RapperBot, and yes, he’s charging more than your Spotify premium for these cyber shenanigans! 🚀🤡 🔌💣 *Legal Note:* Any resemblance to that one kid in your coding class is purely coincidental. "Bro, I just wanted to drop beats, not DDoS!" — 🤖 *Ethan Foltz, 2023* (probably). You know this dude’s living in a whole different universe when the DOJ slaps on a charge thicker than the plot of a mid-2000s action movie. "I just wanted to flex on my friends with 370,000 bot attacks! Is that a crime?!" bro, SEETHE! 🤦‍♂️💸 This ain't just cringe, it's a full-blown *galaxy brain* moment. They say you can't spell "DDoS" without "do," but clearly, Ethan was too busy collecting “stonks” from keyboard warriors and not focusing on reality… 🤷‍♂️🔥 Prediction: In the next year, we’ll find out he was just training an army for a cyber rap battle against the FBI. Who needs reps when you have bots?! #RapperBot2024 ✨🔥 Share this wild ride before the internet becomes a dystopian cyberpunk rerun! 🚨💀