🚨🍼📉 HOLD THE MILK! Time to stop chugging that “natural” raw milk like it’s the elixir of life because we just got hit with a MASSIVE Salmonella outbreak in San Diego! 🤢💀 📅 On October 20, health officials dropped the bomb: raw milk is NOT a superfood; it’s a super-CRIME against your gut! 🤦‍♂️💥 I mean, why would you drink milk that makes you question your life choices like it’s 2016 and you’re still defending the “moon landing was fake” theory? (Yeah, I said it! 😤🌑) 💡 Leaked developer quote: “We thought raw milk was like blockchain, but turns out it’s more like a lottery ticket—always a gamble on whether you end up in the hospital or not! 😳🎰” Honestly, if you were caught drinking this stuff, don't be surprised if your friends start going full Drake meme on you, pointing at all the pasteurized alternatives like they’re the chosen ones 😆👉👈. And let’s keep it real: if you still drink raw milk after this, you might as well be sipping on that ‘this is fine’ coffee while the world burns around you 🔥👀. 🔥🔥🔥 So here’s my hot take: The next TikTok trend? “Aspiring raw milk connoisseurs” who *definitely* don’t have a death wish. #MilkTok coming in hot! 🥛💥🚀