🚨👀 BREAKING NEWS: Internet Freedom is in a Longer Decline than My Love Life! 💔📉 So guess what? 🙄 Freedom House just dropped their annual "let's remind people that the internet is a dystopian wasteland" report and, surprise surprise, global internet freedom is nosediving faster than my GPA after finals week. 🏊‍♂️💨 For 15 years in a row, people! That’s longer than some YouTubers stick to their New Year resolutions! 🤦‍♂️🗑️ In a shocking plot twist, Kenya cranked their internet freedom down to "barely online" levels. Like, fr fr, how are we supposed to meme if the wifi is trash? 🤷‍♂️💩 Freedom House needs to start a GoFundMe for Kenya's internet, because at this point it’s clearer than a Zoom call without a filter: we’re all living in a digital prison. 🏰🔒 Leaked Developer Quote: "We can't let people have too much freedom online; who would update their status to 'Feeling Sad' if they have, you know, actual human freedoms? 🥴" *Cue the "This is fine" dog meme as the flames of internet oppression rise around us* 🔥🐶 Hot Take: By 2030, we’ll be sending carrier pigeons to send DMs. 🕊️💌 Stonks? More like bonks! Share this chaos, or we’ll all be locked in the digital dad joke dungeon. 💀🚀