🚨 BREAKING NEWS: Meta Hits the Delete Button Like a Twitch Streamer with 5 Chatters! 🚨💥 So, Meta just yanked 135,000 Instagram accounts faster than a kid on a sugar high running from responsibility 😵‍💫. That’s more accounts than I have unread emails, and let's not even talk about my DMs 🙈💔. Apparently, they kicked these accounts to the curb for “sexualizing children” – which is one heck of a *hard no* from everyone in the galaxy 🚀💀. Half a mil more accounts got the boot too, like an elevator when the weight limit's hit. *Meta says they’re beefing up protections for teen users* 👶🔒 but I swear I saw a cockroach escape their team meeting that looked more competent than their current strategy! 😬 Imagine the late-night chat: **Developer #1:** “Hey, what if we made IG more secure?” **Developer #2:** “Nah, let’s focus on making Reels that’ll be forgotten in 5 seconds!” 🎥🤡 Is this cringe? Yes. Are stonks going to crash? Also yes. 🤷‍♂️💰 But here's the tea: In the next year, TikTok's algorithm will outfox Meta so hard that Zuck will have to take a hiatus to figure out what flavor of human he wants to be next. **Hot Take:** Future Meta shareholders will be posting “This is fine” memes while they seethe 🔥💸. Stay safe out there, fam! 🕵️‍♂️✨