🚨BREAKING NEWS: Ancient Homies Still Using the Same Stone Tools! 🚨💀💎 Imagine pulling up to a 300,000-year-old tool shed and finding the same ol’ stone tools just chillin’ there like they’re at a grandma’s garage sale. 🤡 "Hey, what’s good, fam? We still got these 2.75 million-year-old rock vibes, no cap!" Don’t you dare say “upgrade,” because these hominins are vibin’ like it’s the Stone Age equivalent of using a flip phone in 2023. 🗿🔥 According to archaeologist David Braun (no relation to the wannabe Instagram influencer), this ancient crew straight-up decided to ride out ALL the climate change drama with their trusty rocks. Picture it: “This is fine” but for 10,000 generations. 😂☀️🌪️ Here’s the tea: while modern tech bros are getting all hot and sweaty over the latest iPhone with its 57 lenses 📸, our distant ancestors were like, “Nah fam, we’ve got this sweet rock and that’s all we need. Let’s hunt!” That’s some galaxy brain moves right there! 🌌💡🤓 In other words, they’re saying stonks never crash when you’re investing in rocks! 💰🚀 So what’s the prediction? Brace yourselves—for the next tech revolution, we’re going back to basics: the Smart Stone 5000™. Watch out, Apple! If cavemen survived with rocks, I’m betting they're about to launch a TikTok dance challenge! 📺🥴 #StoneAgeFlex