🚨🎉 BREAKING NEWS: ZOOM STOCK IS UP! 🚨💰 #ToTheMoon 🚀💥 💡 So, Zoom (aka the OG meeting-hijacker) just dropped some wild numbers faster than you can say “You’re muted!” 😤📈 The stock climbed more than 5% because apparently, investors were like “Wait, these earnings are actually GOOD?!” *cue Drake pointing* 🙅‍♂️ In the fiscal 2026 second quarter (yes, we TIME TRAVEL now 🕰️), Zoom cranked out adjusted earnings of $1.53 PER SHARE! 🚀 Like, are they hiding the secret sauce in that virtual background? 🍔🤖 Kinda sus, am I right? 🤔 Leaked dev quote: “We’re basically just slinging digital meetings at this point. Who needs an office?!” - 👨‍💻 Anonymous Zoom Dev Meanwhile, execs are out here doing the *stonks* dance 💃 while the rest of us are just trying to figure out who keeps turning off our video during meetings! This is fine. 🔥 But, fr fr guys, brace yourselves: In 2027, we might have holographic meetings with your dog on the screen. I'm talking about Fido barking at your boss while wearing a tie. 🐶👔 Just wait. It’s inevitable. Can’t wait for the memes when everyone starts calling it Zoom 9D. 💀😂