🚨🔥 BREAKING NEWS FROM THE LAND OF YOUTUBE: THEY’RE HANDING OUT SECURE EXITS LIKE IT’S A FREE SAMPLE AT COSTCO! 💀🚀 That’s right, fam 🤡—YouTube just dropped a “voluntary exit program” for its U.S. staff, because who needs employees when you can just reorganize your product teams into three separate zones 🤷‍♂️? #CorporateLife #Cringe CEO Neal “I Swear I’m Not Just a Google Puppet” Mohan hit the airwaves with a memo that sounded like he was announcing the new Avengers lineup. 📩 “Hey team, take a severance and bounce! The new structure is like a family drama, but with more spreadsheets and fewer hugs 🌌.” Sources (🤫, the voices in my head) claim that the *Subscription Products* team is gearing up to focus solely on YouTube Premium, because watching ads is SO 2022, right? Like, who needs free content? Stonks go Brrrrrr when you’re cashing in on subscription fees 💰💸. Meanwhile, the rest of the team is probably seething at their desks, sipping “this is fine” coffee while watching their coworkers pack up. Hot take: In 5 years, YouTube will be just a sad server farm where our childhood dreams of “Let’s Play” videos go to die. 🔥👀💀 TL;DR: YouTube staff, pack it or lack it! 🤡💀🔥 Give it a share if you think that program is just a fancy name for “We’re firing you but with style!” 👀✨