🎮💥🏴‍☠️ BREAKING NEWS: The PowerBoy 2-in-1 Retro Gaming Console & Power Bank is the tech mashup we never knew we needed but definitely don’t deserve! For just $79.99, you get a console that plays OVER 1,500 retro games AND fast-charges your phone! 🤯📱💨 Now you can finally experience the joy of playing Mario while simultaneously ensuring your phone is juiced up for your 12th TikTok of the day! 🚀💰 Stonks! 💸 But let’s be real, it’s also the same price as the ONE coffee you bought in 2020 that you’ve now decided to call a “vintage artifact.” ☕💀 Imagine: You’re on a crowded subway, whipping out your PowerBoy like it’s 1999, while the kid next to you can’t even dodge his cringe TikToks! 😩🕹️ “Hey, wanna borrow my charger?” *Drake points* “Nah, I’m good, fam!” *Seethe intensifies* 😂 *Leaked developer quote*: “We just slapped a phone charger on an NES and called it a day, bro. Who even reads manuals anymore?” 🤡💁‍♂️ 🤔🔥 HOT TAKE: This is the destined birth of the new eSports/charging community. Get ready for competitive phone charging tournaments by 2025! OR WE’RE ALL DOOMED. 🌌💣 **Cope with that!**