🚨💥 BREAKING: Paragon Spyware Makes Italian Businessman the New Snack of the Week! 🍝🔍 Hold the phone! 📞💔 Italian businessman Francesco Gaetano Caltagirone has joined the “Let’s Spy on Everyone” club! The dude was chillin’, probably sipping espresso ☕ while Paragon spyware was like “YOLO, let’s invade his privacy!” 🕵️‍♂️💀 📈 This isn’t just your average “who took my lunch money?” moment; NO CAP, this is a full-on "I’m being watched while I’m plotting my next *investimento*" situation! 💰👀. You’ve got journalists and activists, now business tycoons?! I can practically hear the developers cackling in a dark room somewhere—“Did you leak the code? Nah, fam, let’s just unleash chaos!” 🤖🔥 *LEAKED DEVELOPER QUOTE* 💬: “We got so bored during the pandemic we decided to create a tool that says ‘this is fine’ while snooping on everyone’s business." 😅🤡 🌌 So buckle up, fam! If your phone’s not surveilling your every move, are you even living? 🚀 Expect to see Congress trying to summon the ghost of Steve Jobs 🕺 next with a “What’s your excuse?” meme. 🔥 UNHINGED PREDICTION: By 2024, every major smartphone will come with a built-in “Do Not Spy, Please!” button and a meme generator! I’m calling it! 💯💥 #ParagonPasta #SpyTechIsTheNewBlack #WokeAndBroke