🎮💔 BREAKING: Xbox Sales Are Falling Faster Than My Hopes for a New Fable Game! 💔🎮 So, fam, buckle up because Microsoft just dropped their Q1 2026 earnings like they were the hottest mixtape of the year 💸🔥—but it turns out this beat is a total flop! Xbox sales are down a whopping 29% year-over-year. YIKES! 🤡 If sales get any worse, they might as well call it the Xbox Ghost™ because it's looking **dead** out here. 👻 With the Series X starting at a jaw-dropping $599.99, I’d rather buy a VR headset and imagine playing on an Xbox. No cap, that’s a *whole* lifestyle change. 😭 Meanwhile, Microsoft is like, “We’re pivoting to Xbox everywhere!”…which honestly sounds like a desperate Tinder bio. Swipe left! 🚫💔 But here's the real tea: they’re aiming for a 30% profit margin while *also* laying off employees. That’s some next-level “Stonks” meme energy right there! 📉💼 Developer quote from some imaginary dude, “Yeah, we figured if we can't sell consoles, might as well sell sadness!” And the wild hot take? Microsoft announces an *exclusive* cloud-based version of Xbox where you can only play games while standing on one leg 🤖🦵—because who needs stability in gaming or life, right? 🤷‍♂️🔥 Share this chaos with your squad if you're ready to seethe into the gaming abyss! 💀📲