🚨💩 BREAKING: Withings just dropped the U-Scan—the world’s first toilet-mounted urine analyzer that's literally calling you out from the porcelain throne! 💸💦 Say goodbye to boring ol' pee-stats because this little genius will turn your morning ritual into a scientific experiment! 3 years in the making, and for only $380, you TOO can become the proud owner of a device that judges your hydration levels & nutritional choices before your first cup of coffee! ☕️📈 #Stonks Imagine this: You sit down, and that little gadget sends your pee data straight to your Withings app faster than your ex can ghost you. 🤖🛁 You might as well be tracking your health like it's an eSports competition! Developer Quote™: "We thought, what if people want their urine to have its own app? 🤔🚀": says some guy in a lab coat. But for real, who wants to know their urine’s pH level while scrolling through TikTok? 🤷‍♂️💀💔 This is the ultimate "This is fine" moment if I’ve ever seen one. 🔥🔥 Hot Take Alert: If you’re paying $380 to analyze your pee, just know you’re one step away from becoming a conspiracy theorist about everything—time to write “toilet-water scientist” on your LinkedIn! #CopingHard #PeeScience 🤡💥