🚀👀 Buckle up fam, because Texas' very own Ted Cruz just decided to hitch his wagon to NASA's burnt-out rocket dumpster fire known as the “Senate Launch System” (aka the “SLS” for those in the know 💰😂). Can we get a *major* facepalm here? 🤦‍♂️ For 15 years, the Senate turned this space project into a retirement plan for geezers like Bill Nelson and Richard Shelby. I mean, NASA's rocket costs more than your average private island—$2 BILLION PER LAUNCH. Like, hello, can we get some *stonks* in here? 📈💀 This ain't even a rocket at this point; it's a space-themed country club for rich dudes! 🏌️‍♂️✨ But now Cruz is all like, "I got this, fam! 🦸‍♂️" I guess he's trying to flex his pro-capitalist, fiscal conservative muscles (while sipping on a $6 coffee, obviously). 😂☕ “Hey, Ted,” says one imaginary NASA dev. “You do realize this rocket’s been an e-conomy black hole?” 🚫💸 And Ted's like, “More launches = more jobs = more money for me! Win-win, right?” 🤡💥 🔮 But here’s the tea: In 2040, NASA will just be a TikTok channel where they do “unboxing” videos for their underground moon base. 🚀🔥 Keep your cringe sensors set to max, folks! This is only the beginning...