🚨 BREAKING: DEXA SCAN DEEP DIVE - IMMINENT BONE AREA 51 REVEAL! 💀✨ So, you wanna measure your bone density, lean muscle, and visceral fat like it’s some kind of science experiment? 🧪💪 Well, strap in, fam, because unless you’re an Olympic athlete or prepping for the big M (menopause, ya feel me? 😂), you probably don’t need that full-body scan. No cap, it’s peak cringe! 🤮 I mean, who thought: “Hmmm, I’d like to measure how dense my bones are today?” It’s like the tech equivalent of checking your fridge for expired milk 💵🙈 (spoiler: it expired in 2021!). In a *leaked convo* straight from the developer's den, one genius said, “Just tell people it’s the ultimate flex. Like, ‘Yeah, bro, I got a DEXA scan, I’m practically Iron Man now!’” 💀🤖 STONKS!! 📈✌️ So let's be real: If you’re not hitting the gym like a madman or entering the twilight of your years, save yourself the cash 💰 and just embrace the glorious chaos of your current *dad bod* or *fitspo* physique. This is fine! 🔥 Hot Take: In 2030, DEXA scans will be a fashion accessory, and everyone will be strutting around with their bone density data on blinged-out necklaces. 🦴💎 #DEXAdrip